Bending reality and disappearing when it snaps back.
If you ever needed an example of writing with the purpose of getting something off the chest, here you go.
Some hard conversations should probably never be had.
One of my worst fears is being stuck in a relationship where authentic speech is punished, which I have written about in a previous article. If you cannot say what is on your mind out of fear for the other person’s reaction, you cannot solve the problems you see and you cannot assert your boundaries for self-preservation. So, is the solution to just say what you want to say? Not quite.
When spending time with someone, prioritise spending it in the same way that made you want to spend more time with them.
Recently, I have gotten closer with one of my female friends. We met through a shared activity, started having conversations, and since we both enjoyed those a lot, we started sharing more activities together. In the process, I learnt an important life lesson.
A look at attachment styles from the perspective of self-censorship.
Breakdown in communication is probably the most common reason for breakups. I have, however, had two short-lived relationships where by the end, breakdown in communication was the reason I didn’t break up sooner. Having recently read a book on attachment styles, I think I can now piece together why.
Nobody can teach you this, because you already know how to walk.
My friend Vuk Vuković, whom I met through dance and who has taught me to be bold about the philosophy of dance, once gave a one-minute speech on a square in my home town summarising the essence of son dance. I happened to film it. As he reflected later, it was actually a perfect summary of all partner dances worth their salt. I have since spread his sermon to many people, and it ties into some other thoughts and experiences I’ve had recently.
An introduction to the music that converted me from listening to EDM for over a decade to forgetting about it for a year.
Many of my articles have been dedicated to dancing, but only one has been dedicated to what we dance to. And even so, I only wrote about lyrics, rather than about music. Let me share my compiled efforts regarding the musical genre most suited for dancing casino: timba.
A full overview of all figures that move around, and their symmetries.
There are several figures in casino whose main purpose is to move the centre of the couple, rather than doing flashy armwork. They are called desplazamientos (“displacements”). These figures are made for letting the dance breathe, for claiming space, and in crowded spaces, for getting to an emptier part of the floor without stopping the dance.
Don’t shit where you eat, but in more words.
Anyone who has made social partner dance their hobby has inevitably made long-term connections with people of the other sex. Furthermore, every dancer with any critical sense will rank-order these people by their competency. So then, the question naturally arises: does it make sense to date those dancers with whom you develop a good personal connection and who are so competent that you like dancing with them more than most others? I will argue here that paradoxically, the more you admire someone’s dancing abilities, the less it should determine whether you date them, or even, the less you should consider them for dating.
Over 20 figures you can do in the 8 counts right after hammerlocking the follower.
In dance, a follower hammerlock involves both hands being held, with one arm of the follower crossing behind her back and coming out the other side. The hammerlocking vuelta/vacilala is the first two-handed casino figure you learn as a beginner. This figure is the start of an entire family of figures that are variations on the famous setenta (70), which is surprisingly large. This hints at the observation that hammerlocks are a fantastic branching point for adding variety to the dance. Here is a list of all the things you can do with them.
A short guide for casino dancers who get off-count and want to recover without a hard reset.
Beginners are cursed with not finding the count and being off count without knowing, which bothers onlookers. Improvers are cursed with knowing how to find count in most songs, and hence they are the first to feel discomfort when falling off count. You can’t just defibrillate the dance with a hard stop, like you would a heart to restart the pulse. So, here are some of the ways I get back on count – fixing the car while driving it.
